K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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