From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So gin and wine won't be happening again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
