The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
