I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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