Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
