im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
