Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
