Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
