Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
