I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
