When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
