He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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