i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
