Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wanna go halves on a baby?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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