Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am spending my child support on dildos
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
