today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
