her facebook's as public as her vagina
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
