JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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