you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
