Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
