so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
