Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
