Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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