Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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