Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
