yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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