We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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