my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
