they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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