On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
