i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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