so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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