He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize