im drinking this country out of the recession.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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