It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
