covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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