Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The Olympian is in my bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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