Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
