My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
