just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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