these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
