I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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