mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
