are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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