after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
