Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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