"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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