none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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