i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize