feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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