We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
