my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
