i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
