Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize