so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
