At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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