i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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