you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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