I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The air taste purple.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
