he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
