I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Randomize
